Magical Thinkingis the phenomenon of thinking that
or believing that we could or should have controlled the circumstances surround
a tragedy – so that it might have been averted.
“If only I had done ……… instead, this would not have happened.” “If I
had had been there ….things would have been different.” “What didI dothat caused this to happen?” Statements such as these and a thousand others are
common thoughts for survivors of a loss.
Parents ask “why” did their child die, they wonder what they
did “wrong” that may have brought this tragedy on.
Here we are at the beginning of another year. It is funny how fast time goes
by. The old folks used to say, "The older you get, the faster time flies
by." Hate to admit it, but they were RIGHT!
This year, rather than makingNew Year's Resolutions- which never
seem to last past the first few weeks of January: this year I've decided to
makeNew Years' Goals. I have specific goals for mypersonal
life, forwork, and also in regard to my relationships with others.
Our goals need to be
older I get the more I miss the way things were. Life was less
complicated and more fun - the holidays were better with family all
The holidays are meant to be a happy time; a time of celebration. However, for those of us who have lost loved ones - to death, or estrangement - the holidays are a reminder of all the things that NOT alright.
For the folks who survived the tragedy in Sandy Hook, Connecticut - I cannot imagine the pain they must feel.
How they will survive depends on how they cope and deal with their grief, anger, pain and confusion.